Tig.

"Jewel had a poetry book and I picked that thing up and every other poem was about her bosoms." JC sounded disturbed. Extremely disturbed. Hehe...poor JC. Having to read something about Jewel's bosoms. Even more importantly...about bosoms in general. Speaking of bosoms...I feel a quote coming on. "'Mmm...bosom.' 'Did I say bosom?' '-nods head, closing eyes, biting lower lip- Yeah.'" I love Dom...have I ever said how much I love him.
 
Rum? "But why's the rum gone?" -dies- Flavoured rum. We don't need any...flavoured rum! Some...water-logged...vanilla extract flavoured...diluted rum! We need rum! Normal rum! Brown and thick...and...liver-rotting! No clear rum! Clear rum is for the wussies and the people with good breath. Who really needs that? We don't need any God damn flavoured rum, savvy? -had her moment of the day-
 
Why do I have the feeling that all of today's entries are going to fill up the whole blog?
 
-long pause-
 
 
 
-shrugs- Who cares? It's not like...
 
-another long pause-
 
I don't know what it's like, but I'm filling up the whole God damn blog with my ramblings! That's why I got this God damned blog! So there! Bitch! -dies-
 
I love Silent Bob...Jay is a bastard...but I like Silent Bob. So *bleep* my *bleep*, you ass****! -dies laughing- God...that amuses me. With the word 'asshole', people bleep the word 'hole' and not the word 'ass' which, in truth, is the real offensive word, not hole. -laughs- If they do that...why don't they say 'butt****'. It makes no sense. I agree with George Carlin. This censorship method makes no fucking sense. I mean...it's like he says...you can say the word...you can print the word as long as it's like...'f@&k' or 'f**k'...which still imprints the word in your mind...so it's like...just say the word! It's not like it's not already there! What's the difference? If you're going to censor the word...completely censor it or don't censor it at all. Because the medium censoring we're doing...well...lemme clue you in, people at the censoring place (-dies-)...WE KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING? -gasps- How we know that Jay-Z is saying 'bitch' when he says 'b*tch'...we will never know...
 
AHH! I love Dave Nevarro even more now! He sang "Barbie Girl"! He fucking rocks! -dies- Admitted to having "Barbie Girl" on his Ipod.
 
"I'm a Ken guy...I have no penis!" -dies laughing- Hehe...it's that Hal Sparks guy. He fucking rocks...not as much as Dave Nevarro, but still!
 
-dies laughing- "I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anything, I'd be like 'Hey! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'" -dies laughing- That is the only amusing South Park line I've ever heard.
 
-even more laughter- "Is that Furby your friend or a double-crossing little bastard?" -is in pain- This is so fucking funny! -is in pain- Darin was all amused by what Dom says...but the whole thing is fucking funny!
 
"A 'friend' of mine told me that he [took Viagra] and he had this erection that was so hard and relentless that he felt like a lesbian with a strap-on."
 
You see what I'm talking about? IT'S PRICELESS SHIT! -is in pain-
 
You know...every time I see the word "Armageddon"...I see "Arma-get-it-on". -dies laughing-

Ooh...and the whole "Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler in movies together" makes sense now. I forgot they were in Armageddon together -dies-.
 
"Don't wanna fall asleep 'cause a big rock will hit the earth and then we'll all die. -is in pain laughing- So fucking funny. SO FUCKING HILARIOUS! -is dying laughing-
 
I know this isn't making any sense...but you'll have to excuse me. I'm so amused that it's not funny.
 
Who the hell is Rachael Harris? I'm confused...
 
And who really wants another Partridge Family? Seriously? Who does? And what drugs are you on?

Those are the questions of life...