Tig.

You know...I knew it would happen. Right after I saw the movie. Achilles/Paris slash. I knew it. Because whilst in the theater...I had a slashy moment. And I laughed. It was bad -dies- But...it's kind of unnerving. Achilles and Paris. First off...what name could you make out of that? Achis? (-snicker, snicker-) Pachilles? (-louder snicker-) The first sounds like bad porno and the second sounds like hemorrhoid cream. (God bless spell check) But...what else is it going to be? There are so many nasty slash pairings that can come out of that movie. Let's explore the possibilities. Starting with the pretty boy.

Paris/Achilles
Paris/Hector (-big, big cringe-)
Paris/Agamemnon (-another, not quite as big, cringe-)
Paris/Odysseus (-shrugs- I wouldn't read it, but it's not as bad)
Paris/Ajax (-is disturbed-)
Paris/Patroclus (That would be...interesting -makes a face-)
Paris/Nestor (-big gross out-)
Paris/Priam (-throws up-)
Paris/Menelaus (Between the hatred and wanting to kill each other...they have wild monkey sex...oh yes -dies laughing-)
Paris/Aeneas (You know...that would make sense...)

Achilles/Paris (As stated previously)
Achilles/Hector (Which isn't as bad as Paris/Hector, but is still bad)
Achilles/Agamemnon (-dies laughing- YEAH RIGHT!)
Achilles/Odysseus (Wouldn't be that bad, actually)
Achilles/Ajax (Bad...but not as bad as some)
Achilles/Patroclus (-makes a disgusted face-)
Achilles/Nestor (Would make sense, but eww)
Achilles/Priam (-makes a face- Eww! EWW!)
Achilles/Menelaus (-covers mouth to keep from laughing-)
Achilles/Aeneas (That would be far fetched)

Hector/Paris (Big EWW as previously stated)
Hector/Achilles (...)
Hector/Agamemnon (Same thing that goes with Paris)
Hector/Odysseus (Not as bad as some)
Hector/Ajax (-falls over laughing-)
Hector/Patroclus (-another fall over laughing-)
Hector/Nestor (IT RHYMES, THOUGH!)
Hector/Priam (Um...EWW! -throws up again-)
Hector/Menelaus (-is in pain from laughing-)
Hector/Aeneas (Um...no?)

Odysseus/Paris (-shakes her head-)
Odysseus/Hector (-long paus-)
Odysseus/Achilles (Not as bad)
Odysseus/Ajax (-dies-)
Odysseus/Agamemnon (Nasty...)
Odysseus/Patroclus (Achilles would castrate him...unless it was...)
Odysseus/Patroclus/Achilles (EWW!)
Odysseus/Nestor (Wouldn't make sense...and eww)
Odysseus/Priam (-hurls-)
Odysseus/Menelaus (-dies laughing again-)
Odysseus/Aeneas (What? Would they have quick-but-meaningful sex whilst Troy is burning and Odysseus is burning the city?)

And...of course...the femslash

Briseis/Helen (Anything with Helen is nasty)
Briseis/Andromache (Not as bad as with Helen)
Helen/Andromache (-makes a face- I'd kill Helen if I was Andromache)
Helen/Briseis/Andromache (-shakes her head-)

Anything else is disgusting beyond all belief. Like...Agamemnon/Menelaus. Or Agamemnon/Priam. Yeah...anything with Agamemnon is disgusting. Actually...anything other than Achilles/Paris is revolting, but that's just me. -dies- Yeah...that's my rambling for the day.