Monday, August 08, 2005
A little something
I feel...really bad right now...so I want to write something...anything to cheer myself up with. Earlier I was reading in Jessica's journal how she wrote this...so I decided to do it.
100 Things About Me
1.) I sometimes get really scared about my future. I just feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction
2.) I daydream constantly, even when I'm upset. I'm not very sure if it's healthy.
3.) Despite what it seems, I really care what people think.
4.) I'm very easily upset.
5.) I dream of being famous. I'd love to be a rockstar. I've wanted to sing since I was 7.
6.) I feel like my dreams will never come true.
7.) I'm very scared of death, mainly Hell. I'm afraid I'll go there sometimes.
8.) I think there is a God...but I sometimes wonder why He does the things He does
9.) I write a lot of fanfics. I'm not particularly ashamed of them, but I feel that someday they'll haunt me.
10.) I can be a bit of a fangirl. I don't think that part of me has ever died out.
11.) Sometimes I think I'm better than anyone else. And I hate that feeling. I hate it.
12.) I get really lonely, especially at night, and I cry because of it. That's why I don't like staying up too late.
13.) I act like a know-it-all, but in reality, I don't know very much about anything.
14.) I wish I didn't have it so easy at school. I mean...it's getting harder now, but I'm still gliding on. I wish I had to struggle.
15.) I wonder if I really should be a writer. I mean, it'd be a nice thing to do on the side, but it's not what I love.
16.) When I don't go anywhere, I don't shower. Or brush my teeth. Sometimes.
17.) I don't have very good self-control. At all.
18.) Except when it comes to money.
19.) I have so many things that I love. I wish there were more people who could love them with me.
20.) I'm extremely man-crazy. I'm not even kidding. When I make a comment about a man, I'm usually not exaggerating at all.
21.) I really do think that all men don't want me. I honestly can't picture one wanting me. I always feel like all they want is some little thin thing.
22.) I don't want to be a little thin thing.
23.) I feel a lot more encouraged about my diet and exercising. A size L is only 4 sizes away!
24.) I like to laugh. I laugh easily. Make me laugh. I love it so much.
25.) I really do love my friends, but I have a hard time expressing it.
26.) Whenever I feel an emotion, I'm never able to hide it.
27.) I never want to hide my emotions.
28.) I love my mother very much. She's my best friend.
29.) Sometimes when I get very sad, I picture my mother dead. It scares me so much.
30.) I never want my mother to die. Ever.
31.) I honestly do believe that one should like whatever you like (within reason) because denying things you like is more immature than say, watching cartoons.
32.) Despite this, I still sneak around Books-A-Million with whatever book I'm carrying. I'm quite hesitant to look at that big Star Wars display without someone with me.
33.) I used to read a lot, but I don't very much anymore. That's why I'm starting to make myself read. It makes me feel better.
34.) I HATE being unknowledgeable. I have to know everything or it drives me crazy.
35.) I compulsively read Yahoo! Oddly Enough News when I can't find anything to do online.
36.) It takes me a while to read a story. It's not because I dislike your story or you, it's because...I dunno. I'm off like that.
37.) I love my father, step-mother, sisters, and Uncle George even though I criticize them often.
38.) I hate...let me reiterate this...I HATE my stretch marks.
39.) Someday when I'm older, I want to have a baby.
40.) Marriage has always been a fantasy for me.
41.) I obsessively collect action figures. Dunno why. They're pretty and everything, but I don't really play with them. Just chew on them.
42.) I fear rejection more than you'll ever know.
43.) I tend to exaggerate a lot. A lot.
44.) Lately, I'm so glad I've gotten into Harry Potter. I feel like I've connected with Dedra. It makes me feel so much more full to have someone to relate to. She has the Passion that I've not seen in many people.
45.) I'm really not a good friend.
46.) I hate talking on the telephone.
47.) I hate talking on IM.
48.) I prefer to talk to someone to their face. It's so much easier.
49.) I seem like this huge Lord of the Rings aficionado, but I'm really not.
50.) I love Star Wars, but I'm not THAT into it.
51.) My likes fade quite easily. Even though I keep a huge list of things I love, I seem to love one more when something happens with them. (I.e. Love Star Wars, but get really excited about it and read all about it when the movie comes out...another example...Like Harry Potter...but don't care too much about it until the new book comes out)
52.) I really suck at videogames. Pokemon's the only one that's come to me naturally.
53.) I wish there really were Pokemon. I think I'd be less lonely if I had a Charizard to cuddle.
54.) I read romance novels. And enjoy them. Kiss my ass.
55.) I enjoy watching pornography.
56.) I own two vibrators. (One is very loud...oy)
57.) I have spent about thirty bucks on a personalized romance novel about me and Dominic Monaghan. Yes. I love the book. But am quite ashamed of it.
58.) I have a very quick temper.
59.) When I get mad or frustrated, I pull on my own hair.
60.) I have a slight oral fixation, but different than what it sounds. I enjoy oral pain. As in...pain in my mouth. I've bitten through my lip, sliced my gum, and angered quite a few sores in this odd fixation.
61.) I really do have a thing about men's hair. Honestly.
62.) I am a bit of a personality sometimes.
63.) I feel like I'm never taken seriously, and it's because I can hardly ever be serious for long around too many people.
64.) I always feel the need to entertain.
65.) I always want attention. There are only rare times when I don't.
66.) I feel a lot of times like I'm too picky or finicky.
67.) I wonder who all is going to read this.
68.) I love being loved.
69.) I've no idea why the hell I name my body parts. And if I ever meet ANYONE who I've named it after. I won't tell them. Except for Paul McCartney if I don't pass out the instant I see him. Which I will.
70.) I named my breasts John and Paul (left one's John, right one's Paul), asscheeks Merry and Pippin (left one Merry, right one Pippin), my computer Dominic, and my truck Strider.
71.) I hate the way I act around guys. I've had such a need in my life for male attention, that when I get it, I act stupid. Even if it's from people I can't stand (a.k.a. Cameron Stark). It's not THAT terrible, but GOD if I don't hate myself afterwards.
72.) I usually have cleavage because I want attention. Male. Attention. I feel that the rest of me is unattractive so that I have to have SOMETHING a guy would want. So breasts is it. I hate that feeling.
73.) I have really odd breasts. They aren't round. They're almost oval. And they hate each other. Like fucking magnets these two are. And they aren't exactly perky.
74.) I have having my hair up. When I look in the mirror, it feels like I look like a man.
75.) I love shoes, but the majority of the time, I just want something comfortable.
76.) I honestly don't know if I want to wait until marriage for sex. Even though, it's quite likely I will.
77.) Which means I'll be a virgin all my life.
78.) I wonder about sex a whole lot.
79.) I love Pepsi, yes, but sometimes I just crave water.
80.) I love dressing up. And not just for the attention it gets me. I love pretending that I'm someone else.
81.) In all honesty, I'm glad I am me, but there are things that I would like to drastically change.
82.) I can't stay in one place for too long. I used to be a homebody, but if I'm not out of the house at least once every four days, I start to shift into a depression.
83.) I'm very nervous/excited about drama. I would love to act. I hope I'm good.
84.) I hate being wrong.
85.) I pride myself on being different and on my shock factor.
86.) I listen to a lot of music that I'm slightly ashamed of.
87.) I wish everyone would see me as very mysterious and interesting. Intreguing, even.
88.) I hate being the best friend and never the one who someone is interested in.
89.) I have never had a boyfriend.
90.) I have never been kissed.
91.) I don't wear underwear. And I wouldn't want to.
92.) I'm a nudist at heart and it runs in my family. Knock first when you come to my house unless you want to get flashed.
93.) Even though I enjoy being in the nude, I hate my body.
94.) Sometimes I wonder if I've ever experienced a real orgasm.
95.) I've noticed that a lot of my body is desensitized.
96.) I bite my fingernails because it gives me something to do, keeps my fingernails clean, and because I hate the way my fingers look with nails.
97.) I pick my nose. But I do NOT eat it. That...is nasty.
98.) I bite my toenails.
99.) I pee in the shower.
100.) I feel a whole lot better than when I started this thing.
100 Things About Me
1.) I sometimes get really scared about my future. I just feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction
2.) I daydream constantly, even when I'm upset. I'm not very sure if it's healthy.
3.) Despite what it seems, I really care what people think.
4.) I'm very easily upset.
5.) I dream of being famous. I'd love to be a rockstar. I've wanted to sing since I was 7.
6.) I feel like my dreams will never come true.
7.) I'm very scared of death, mainly Hell. I'm afraid I'll go there sometimes.
8.) I think there is a God...but I sometimes wonder why He does the things He does
9.) I write a lot of fanfics. I'm not particularly ashamed of them, but I feel that someday they'll haunt me.
10.) I can be a bit of a fangirl. I don't think that part of me has ever died out.
11.) Sometimes I think I'm better than anyone else. And I hate that feeling. I hate it.
12.) I get really lonely, especially at night, and I cry because of it. That's why I don't like staying up too late.
13.) I act like a know-it-all, but in reality, I don't know very much about anything.
14.) I wish I didn't have it so easy at school. I mean...it's getting harder now, but I'm still gliding on. I wish I had to struggle.
15.) I wonder if I really should be a writer. I mean, it'd be a nice thing to do on the side, but it's not what I love.
16.) When I don't go anywhere, I don't shower. Or brush my teeth. Sometimes.
17.) I don't have very good self-control. At all.
18.) Except when it comes to money.
19.) I have so many things that I love. I wish there were more people who could love them with me.
20.) I'm extremely man-crazy. I'm not even kidding. When I make a comment about a man, I'm usually not exaggerating at all.
21.) I really do think that all men don't want me. I honestly can't picture one wanting me. I always feel like all they want is some little thin thing.
22.) I don't want to be a little thin thing.
23.) I feel a lot more encouraged about my diet and exercising. A size L is only 4 sizes away!
24.) I like to laugh. I laugh easily. Make me laugh. I love it so much.
25.) I really do love my friends, but I have a hard time expressing it.
26.) Whenever I feel an emotion, I'm never able to hide it.
27.) I never want to hide my emotions.
28.) I love my mother very much. She's my best friend.
29.) Sometimes when I get very sad, I picture my mother dead. It scares me so much.
30.) I never want my mother to die. Ever.
31.) I honestly do believe that one should like whatever you like (within reason) because denying things you like is more immature than say, watching cartoons.
32.) Despite this, I still sneak around Books-A-Million with whatever book I'm carrying. I'm quite hesitant to look at that big Star Wars display without someone with me.
33.) I used to read a lot, but I don't very much anymore. That's why I'm starting to make myself read. It makes me feel better.
34.) I HATE being unknowledgeable. I have to know everything or it drives me crazy.
35.) I compulsively read Yahoo! Oddly Enough News when I can't find anything to do online.
36.) It takes me a while to read a story. It's not because I dislike your story or you, it's because...I dunno. I'm off like that.
37.) I love my father, step-mother, sisters, and Uncle George even though I criticize them often.
38.) I hate...let me reiterate this...I HATE my stretch marks.
39.) Someday when I'm older, I want to have a baby.
40.) Marriage has always been a fantasy for me.
41.) I obsessively collect action figures. Dunno why. They're pretty and everything, but I don't really play with them. Just chew on them.
42.) I fear rejection more than you'll ever know.
43.) I tend to exaggerate a lot. A lot.
44.) Lately, I'm so glad I've gotten into Harry Potter. I feel like I've connected with Dedra. It makes me feel so much more full to have someone to relate to. She has the Passion that I've not seen in many people.
45.) I'm really not a good friend.
46.) I hate talking on the telephone.
47.) I hate talking on IM.
48.) I prefer to talk to someone to their face. It's so much easier.
49.) I seem like this huge Lord of the Rings aficionado, but I'm really not.
50.) I love Star Wars, but I'm not THAT into it.
51.) My likes fade quite easily. Even though I keep a huge list of things I love, I seem to love one more when something happens with them. (I.e. Love Star Wars, but get really excited about it and read all about it when the movie comes out...another example...Like Harry Potter...but don't care too much about it until the new book comes out)
52.) I really suck at videogames. Pokemon's the only one that's come to me naturally.
53.) I wish there really were Pokemon. I think I'd be less lonely if I had a Charizard to cuddle.
54.) I read romance novels. And enjoy them. Kiss my ass.
55.) I enjoy watching pornography.
56.) I own two vibrators. (One is very loud...oy)
57.) I have spent about thirty bucks on a personalized romance novel about me and Dominic Monaghan. Yes. I love the book. But am quite ashamed of it.
58.) I have a very quick temper.
59.) When I get mad or frustrated, I pull on my own hair.
60.) I have a slight oral fixation, but different than what it sounds. I enjoy oral pain. As in...pain in my mouth. I've bitten through my lip, sliced my gum, and angered quite a few sores in this odd fixation.
61.) I really do have a thing about men's hair. Honestly.
62.) I am a bit of a personality sometimes.
63.) I feel like I'm never taken seriously, and it's because I can hardly ever be serious for long around too many people.
64.) I always feel the need to entertain.
65.) I always want attention. There are only rare times when I don't.
66.) I feel a lot of times like I'm too picky or finicky.
67.) I wonder who all is going to read this.
68.) I love being loved.
69.) I've no idea why the hell I name my body parts. And if I ever meet ANYONE who I've named it after. I won't tell them. Except for Paul McCartney if I don't pass out the instant I see him. Which I will.
70.) I named my breasts John and Paul (left one's John, right one's Paul), asscheeks Merry and Pippin (left one Merry, right one Pippin), my computer Dominic, and my truck Strider.
71.) I hate the way I act around guys. I've had such a need in my life for male attention, that when I get it, I act stupid. Even if it's from people I can't stand (a.k.a. Cameron Stark). It's not THAT terrible, but GOD if I don't hate myself afterwards.
72.) I usually have cleavage because I want attention. Male. Attention. I feel that the rest of me is unattractive so that I have to have SOMETHING a guy would want. So breasts is it. I hate that feeling.
73.) I have really odd breasts. They aren't round. They're almost oval. And they hate each other. Like fucking magnets these two are. And they aren't exactly perky.
74.) I have having my hair up. When I look in the mirror, it feels like I look like a man.
75.) I love shoes, but the majority of the time, I just want something comfortable.
76.) I honestly don't know if I want to wait until marriage for sex. Even though, it's quite likely I will.
77.) Which means I'll be a virgin all my life.
78.) I wonder about sex a whole lot.
79.) I love Pepsi, yes, but sometimes I just crave water.
80.) I love dressing up. And not just for the attention it gets me. I love pretending that I'm someone else.
81.) In all honesty, I'm glad I am me, but there are things that I would like to drastically change.
82.) I can't stay in one place for too long. I used to be a homebody, but if I'm not out of the house at least once every four days, I start to shift into a depression.
83.) I'm very nervous/excited about drama. I would love to act. I hope I'm good.
84.) I hate being wrong.
85.) I pride myself on being different and on my shock factor.
86.) I listen to a lot of music that I'm slightly ashamed of.
87.) I wish everyone would see me as very mysterious and interesting. Intreguing, even.
88.) I hate being the best friend and never the one who someone is interested in.
89.) I have never had a boyfriend.
90.) I have never been kissed.
91.) I don't wear underwear. And I wouldn't want to.
92.) I'm a nudist at heart and it runs in my family. Knock first when you come to my house unless you want to get flashed.
93.) Even though I enjoy being in the nude, I hate my body.
94.) Sometimes I wonder if I've ever experienced a real orgasm.
95.) I've noticed that a lot of my body is desensitized.
96.) I bite my fingernails because it gives me something to do, keeps my fingernails clean, and because I hate the way my fingers look with nails.
97.) I pick my nose. But I do NOT eat it. That...is nasty.
98.) I bite my toenails.
99.) I pee in the shower.
100.) I feel a whole lot better than when I started this thing.
