Tig.

By the way...everyone...FUCK OFF...I saw him first -dies- No...but today...I watched Sky High...and I was...very oddly attracted to one character. I mean...throbbing...shifting...COLD WATER! The only person I can say I've ever come close to feeling that way about is Hayden. And that's saying a lot. He's a sexy bitch...yes he is...

Jesus Christ I never want to shop. Again. I'm doing it all from eBay from now on. Christ. Shopping 'til I drop doesn't even describe it.

Well...this morning started it all. I was showing my mom how I do push ups (because I suck), and I actually did them correctly, but all 275 pounds of Jamie really hurt her arms. I can't even lift them. Not even playing.

Then...it's to the Waffle House. I tell you, my stomach hasn't been that greasy since...well...right now, I suppose...

We WERE going to go see The Island/Sky High, but we shopped. God, why me?

We went to Dillard's because of a sale. I've never seen that many bras in my life. You know, I've discovered that bra makers believe that women have perfectly round breasts. And that they have no bloody idea what a "C" cup is. The last one I tried on was an A. I so completely fell out of it. I felt so large breasted. I enjoy that feeling. And I got a see-through one. YAY! It's so cute! And then I got like...a nightgown and a night "outfit"...by then I was pretty tired.

Went to Cato's. About passed out. Was looking for a suit top. Didn't find shit. But momma did. My GOD! I just about passed out on the floor. But I found a vibrating nipple clamp in SOMEBODY'S purse. She never used it. It's mine now.

Went to Wal-Mart. TWO HOURS! My GOD! I was so weak that I couldn't even lift up a notebook of paper! I mean...GAH! I can't even describe the torture this was for me. It's just...evil...just evil...didn't even get to see a movie -pouts-

I so need to get something to store all the stuff I keep on my computer desk. Guess I'll have to do it tomorrow. Or something...

I'm planning on going to Cato's to go look at suit tops for my costume. Because I can't find the right one on eBay. I hope my costume's good. I want it to be extremely outrageous. That's my favorite type of costuming...just outrageous stuff is so great. Original outrageous stuff. I loved being Jack Sparrow last year, especially the attention I got from it. Now that I'm more aware of the costuming community and of better designing tips and where to get more quality goods for less. I'm actually (eventually) going to try and redo my Jack Sparrow costume. I love it so much. I just want it perfected.

Dedra and I have started planning Whose Line parties. At Ashley (Taylor, not Tucker)'s birthday party, we had so much fun playing Whose Line, so Dedra and I are planning lots of them. So far, we've gotten these games:

Today was an interesting day. Well...by interesting, I mean I actually got out of the house and have something to talk to you about besides the fact that summer's almost over and how I don't WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL!

Woke up at say...6 in the morning to drive Momma to work on my request. Yeah...I wanted to go see a movie or something. Came home and passed out (after playing with the dogs for a while). Woke up and it was about 3...I couldn't believe it. Watched Case Closed, took a shower, and went on my way.

Momma and I decided to see Fantastic Four and here's my review:

I'm very honestly glad this movie was short. I don't think I could have taken much more of Johnny Storm's cocky ass...and...well...his ass. Er...if you're not big on action movies...it's worth it to see this Chris Evans guy wearing nothing but a g-string. -fans herself- My GOD! I mean...when he "flamed on" it was obvious the boy was wearing a g-string! And I was looking. I am sorry, but I DO have ovaries you know...and...he's rather nice looking. -fans herself some more- Nice abs. Really nice ones. And...and...-fans herself- Give him hair and I'd maul him. Nice ass, too...God. I mean...in that skin tight suit. He wasn't wearing anything under that. God...I just...God! GOD! -faints- If I ever saw that man...it'd be "LOOK OUT! -points behind him-" "-turns around-" "-ogles- -drools all over herself-" I mean...DAMN! But the guy I naturally liked the most was Ben Grimm a.k.a. The Thing. I've always liked him. But the actor who played him...was nice sized. I mean...he didn't exactly look bad in some of those shirtless (non-Thing) scenes. And as it turns out. He's Brad Pitt's age! HA! Damn it...I'm liking older men. SOMEBODY HELP ME! I'm just...completely off...I either like 41 year olds. 30 or 31 year olds. 28 year olds. 24 year olds. Or like...KIDS YOUNGER THAN ME! GAH! -falls over- I'm not right in the HEAD I TELL YOU!

But all in all, I found it a very refreshingly made super hero movie. I was completely prepared for the cliched Batman/Spiderman moments of "BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A SUPERHERO! I WANT...MY MOMMY! -sucks thumb and curls into the fetal position-", you know? But this added a new light to me. It was a lot more light hearted. Even with the Thing's condition. I mean...okay...I got so pissed off at his wife for leaving him. I will tell you this. If my man turned into a big rock thingie...I'd support him ALL the fucking way. Besides...I'd want to see what his penis looked like. Just to answer a question I've been pondering. But...it was good. Very short, though. The battle with Dr. Doom lacked a climactic quality, though and the little after credits thing obviously meaning that there's a sequel to be made. The romance between the Invisible Girl and Mr. Fantastic (Reed and Sue) was very believeable. But I have to admit that my favorite part was (SPOILER AHEAD!!!!!!) At the very end when Ben ended up with the blind girl in the bar who liked him for who he was...I about cried. That was so great. Beautiful job Stan Lee!

Well...driving home mother dearest and I got into a conversation about nudity, particularly about the whole Janet Jackson boobie Super Bowl Halftime crap. I personally think that it is completely and totally stupid that certain parts of our anatomy are despised. I mean...we are the way we are. All women have breasts. All women have vaginas. All men have penii. So...-shrugs- What does it matter? I believe that God made us the way we are, so what's to be ashamed about? Adam and Eve, before they were sinful, ran around in the nude all day. We should NOT be ashamed of our bodies. And also, isn't it worse to go about in barely there Brazilian bikini bottoms and pasties? I mean...I honestly believe in a lot of the stuff George Carlin says, particularly about censorship. If you're going to say fuck, just say it and let people hear it...because if you say fuck and it's bleeped out (i.e. f%$@!!!! or f***!!!!), it gives the same implication. But, since it's something that we're "not allowed" to hear or something that is considered naughty or vulgar, we tend to think about it a whole lot more than if you just fucking said the word. Same thing with clothing. If you're gonna hang out, hang it ALL out, women AND men alike. So nah!

When we got home, I came into the bathroom to get Aayla and oh my God. The whole bathroom was torn up and covered in dog feces. So naturally, I got to clean it (Momma cleaned a lot of it, which I'm quite thankful for) and got to bathe Aayla since she had it on her feet. Lemme tell you...Aayla...HATES...baths. But...she was actually quite good this time, and only tried to jump out a handfull of times instead of everything three seconds. And then after that (and a wine bottle full of water later), I got to help pull the stitches out of Rosie. He may be a fluffy wimpy boy looking cat, but that is the manliest cat I've ever met. I held onto him, and petted him on the head as momma took the stitches out. He didn't...even...fucking...feel them. I mean...the vet said that when he got a shot that he didn't even flinch. He's such a hard ass!

Also...I'm starting to consider colleges. I got a message from Baylor University and I like them a lot. After I go to Texarkana A&M, I definately will have to consider them. It's in Waco, Texas, a good 90 minutes down from Dallas. A good distance away, but not too far away, you know? Sounds great...but college so scares me right now.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT WITH JOHNNY'S "WILLY WONKA" BEING JUST LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON? HUH? I FUCKING DON'T GET IT! It just...it pisses me off so much that it just...makes me see red. I mean...no offense to Michael Jackson at all...but what the people who say such things are suggesting is that he's the "alledged" Michael Jackson who "sleeps" with children. And Willy Wonka being anything but pure pisses me off. It just...I can't explain it. I just...I have nothing against Michael Jackson...but he so wasn't acting like Michael Jackson.

He had a weird voice, yes. A weird CHILDLIKE voice. Michael Jackson has a high voice. Britney Spears has a high voice. My fucking DOG has a high voice. But that doesn't mean that they're childlike voices.

Another thing is him being very pale like Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson got himself fucked over whilst having plastic surgery. Willy Wonka...hasn't seen the sun in 15 fucking years! And if you notice, he had a greyish tint to his face, suggesting lack of sunlight. HE'S NOT MICHAEL JACKSON! And besides...Johnny Depp...is a sexy bitch. Michael Jackson...was a sexy bitch, but is very scary looking now. WHERE'S THE CONNECTION? GAH!

Another thing...think about it. Johnny did this movie for his kids, Jack, Lily Rose, and Tim Burton. (Kidding about the last one) He did it for the same reason he did Pirates. So his kids would be able to see him on screen. His whole movie resume consists of very adult-oriented movies (or at least older teenagers). C'mon..."From Hell", "the Ninth Gate", "Ed Wood", "Before Night Falls" (-giggles at t3h Bon Bon-), "Donnie Brasco", "the Man Who Cried", "The Astronaut's Wife", "Nick of Time", "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", "Don Juan DeMarco", "Sleepy Hollow"...the list goes on and on. How many of those are kids movies? Lemme go and count. NONE! Absolutely none! Not even "Benny & Joon"...you have to at least be a teenager to understand the conflict in it. He wants to be a character for his kids. He's so amused that his little girl doesn't think he's an actor. She says "My daddy's a pirate!" So naturally, Willy Wonka was for his kids. Do you honestly think he'd try to be Michael Jackson...FOR HIS KIDS? What? Is he trying to convince them to have a sleepover at the Neverland Ranch? I THINK NOT! GAH!

Also...another thing that pisses me off. The last place I read this from was a Texarkana Gazette. And...it just pisses me off..."His masterpiece was Captain Jack Sparrow". How much money you wanna bet that this person has only seen PotC and Willy Wonka? HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S A GOOD ACTOR IF YOU'VE SEEN HIM TWICE? Especially in huge blockbusters. Don't trust them. They're shifty fuckers, they are, those big blockbusters. They make Ben Affleck seem like a good actor. And Colin Farrell. And Orli with armor. GAH! I mean...to truly understand his genius...his gift for acting...you have to see him in a few different characters. Willy Wonka wasn't his best...since it seemed to have a little of his other movies (Ed Wood and Hunter S. Thompson [rest their souls] to name a few) in it. You have to see how he morphs into his characters...how brilliant he is. He's never Johnny Depp when you see his movies. He's Don Juan DeMarco...he's Icabod Crane...he's Sands...he's Bon Bon...he's Roux...he's Gilbert Grape, Sam, Edward Scissorhands, Cry-Baby Walker...he's Captain Jack Sparrow. That's what's so wonderful about his performance...and it pains me that his genius is compared to an alledged child molester. He's a great actor. I mean...even his performance of Willy Wonka has so many layers. He's an insecure child who's been kept on his own. He acts childish because he's never grown up, and he hates other children because so does a selfish child. Makes fun of them to hide his own insecurities. Rejoices in their downfalls. Smiles upon likenesses of himself in Charlie (the loving of candy, not the selfish bit). He's a wonderful actor. Truly one of the very best. If not the best. I don't think I've ever seen an actor as good as he is. But then again...whose career is interesting enough to watch as closely? Nobody. That's who.

I so forgot to add the funniest part!

That guy I told you about...that one part in the movie where Veruca goes to get herself a "sk-wur-wul"...and Willy Wonka says "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!" He laughed so hard. I gave him a look. His laugh was that of "-deep 'manly' voice- HA HA! That's so funny because I've got testicles! HA HA!" -dies giggling-

That I slept for 18 hours yesterday! Oh my God!

Well...the night before last...I couldn't sleep at all. I mean...I went to bed at about 4:30...and had to wake up at 8. So I was pretty tired...but not really. I mean...I didn't feel it. Well...went to church and helped mother dearest with her Sunday School class (which got me out of "my" Sunday School class) and read the whole church time. Ella Enchanted for the FOURTH time...I thank you. Well...after that we went and ate...and with the Youth Group went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...which is the only reason I was up. I enjoyed it immensely. I see that I was much too harsh on it the first time...and by trying not to overly critique it...I had that warm fuzzy feeling that I lacked on the first try. Well...Ben, Christy, Mom, and Sade all sat lower than I did...I sat at the very top with Mariah...and with all the Wonka bars that I had bought beforehand...hehe...and there was this guy next to me. And he kept saying the most OBVIOUS things. My GOD! I mean...the preview for "the Corpse Bride" came on...and I was squeeing and giggling to Mariah about it...and it's playing "the Nightmare Before Christmas" music (because, no duh, Tim Burton movie and they haven't gotten the music done yet) and the guy says "That looks like that one movie 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'" -rolls eyes- GOD! And then...just the most obvious things! Like "That's Christopher Lee." "-hits herself in the head-" And stuff like that...GAH! But I still love that little Veruca Salt...or at least the girl who plays her. She honestly has the most adorable accent I've ever heard. It's hard for me to hate her. I just love the way she says "squirrel". It's not like I've heard it...as "skwirrul" it's "sk-wuh-wrul". SO CUTE! I giggle every time she says "I don't want just any "sk-wuh-wrul"...I want a trained "sk-wuh-wrul"." -giggle- I'm off.

Well after much bitching about Arwen...we went home and I was just...so...I can't even explain how I felt. I was angry, I was frustrated, I was crushed...I found my Jack Sparrow wig...on the floor...ravaged by that dog of mine. I was just so angry...just so mad...I left her alone, though. She's only a dog, she doesn't know better. And I just calmed down in bed so that I wouldn't do anything that I'd regret later. That little chocolate donutz thing helped a lot. -smiles- Well...I forgave her...but the next thing I know...I passed out. I mean...I woke up an hour ago. At one in the morning. I got home at about 6:30. Fell asleep at around 7. I can't believe I did that.

The only thing I feel so sorry about is Jess. I mean...we got into a tiff recently and what I did to her (which I don't regret...because she hurt my feelings) is ignore her so I wouldn't say something that I'd regret. I wouldn't get online...I wouldn't call her. I didn't want to speak to her. And I didn't get online last night. So naturally, she probably thinks I'm mad at her (which I'm not). But I did have a dream about her. I dreamt about flying up to NC to see her...and I was outside of her house...and we were talking on the phone and we waved at each other before she invited me in. Her father was weird looking. She looked exactly like she does, but her sister was much...different...as was her father. He was very old looking...very grey in the hair, you know? He looked very worn down...but I honestly don't think that's what he looks like. Well...she invited me in...told her sister and mother who I was...but told her father that I was some other name...I thought it was Leia...or something like that...and that I'd be staying for a day and a half. -shrugs- I remember eating pasta...and that her father cut in line and almost ate all of it first. I flew back home the next day...and went to school...where I accidentally brought my home phone. Yeah...weird, huh? And not only the home phone...it was attached to its phone cord. My God...it's deja vu. I've so had that dream before. And it was wound around the school (Lockesburg school, but with De Queen teachers, as per usual) and I had to unwind it. Without getting caught by Mr. Greene. I remember since I was absent that day I had to go to Mr. Dykes class (which was my teacher from Lockesburg, Mr. Sweeten's class) and get my homework whilst he was discussing something with...a kid. I'm pretty sure it was Mathis...but -shrugs- I don't really remember. And then I had to go and unwind the cord. My mom called me in the computer lab...on my cell phone and on the home phone...-shakes her head- It was weird...I imagine this was about 11...because when I checked the phone messages...Jess called at about 11. Well...I unwound it...(with some help from my new Drama/Speech teacher Ms. Huckabee to avoid Mr. Greene) and went home in Strider. Driving like a crazy person might I add. I think this was before (or was supposed to be before) I visited Jess. And when I went back to school it was covered in snow. Snowy as hell, I might add. And I had class, but I don't remember it. All I remember was running through the snow as fast as I could to get to Strider. And then I got home and it turned out that whoever was there taking me to the airport (I don't think it was mom) was a bad witch (yeah...that caught me too) and I was like...the Harry Potter figure...and blah blah blah blah blah. And then something about Jay Leno/Mr. Schlesselman re-creating the Beatles (with me in it...and with five members) for some American Idol-esque show. -shakes her head- Weird, eh?

THIS IS BROPHY'S BLOG! GO TO IT BITCHES!

With two "r"s even. -sighs- Well...today was cleaning day in the Hilts household. We got to clean the computer room. And DAMN if it doesn't look 300% better! I'm very happy about it. Everything's all spick and span...well...as much as it can be...for one day's work. We're not completely done, but we will be next week. I'ts so great to have everything organized. It's all feug shui, you know? It makes the room feel better. I have literally 48 action figures. LotR action figures. I counted. Hehe. I'm a big dork. Including my Italian Faramir. I got him straight from Italy. So his penis is bigger -dies- No...just kidding.

Didn't do much but clean today. Woke up fairly early about 10. But I passed out at about 3 because mah tummeh hurt. Um...I found all sorts of shit that I didn't think I had anymore. Tons of CDs and floppy disks and pictures. I even saw some of me with my Grandpa Perkins. That's so great. And my mom found my favorite Pokemon disk...Pokemon Red. My first Gameboy game ever! I lurves mah Charizard on there! SQUEE!

Well...I might as well write it because I'm thinking it. My mom found a letter from my Dad with this new address...(his street name is Derr Street...hehe) and I'm really thinking about writing him a letter. I want to visit up there next summer. I don't want to live under his roof, though. He's a stubborn ass and doesn't listen (not even playing) and I know he won't understand this...but I want to show myself as an independent fully grown person. And in my opinion, driving (or flying) up there and getting a hotel room for myself, by myself shows a little bit of maturity. Besides, I'll be 18 next year. I'll be fucking legal! -pauses- Note to self...stalk Brad Pitt...er...anyway. I really want to go up there. I miss my sisters like crazy. It's gotten to the point where I dream about them all the time. I mean...I just can't quit thinking about them, I miss them so much. Plus, I'd love to show them that I can take them places and all sorts of things that they could never do with me before. And besides, if I want to take my sex toys up there, I'm definately going to have to have my own room. Plus...I can't STAND to live under the same roof as my stepmother. She bitches about everything I do. I've always been the 'good' kid...the 'quiet' kid. You know? I just keep to myself a lot when I'm up there and try not to interfere, but I still get bitched at because Daddy bitches at the girls. Okay...stopping there. This is a happy blog, not a bitching one. But...I think I'm mature enough to get myself a hotel room and drive up there (IN STRIDER! -has a cow-). I want him to see me as an adult. That I can do what I want when I want. I'm not a little girl anymore, and I need him to fully see it. And he won't until I prove myself. I'm not even sure if he will then. -shakes her head- My mother married my father to change him. I suppose I really shouldn't try.

Why the hell am I tasting wine? Oh...apple juice. Reminds me of wine. -shakes her head- I'm weird, I know.

Well...I suppose that's it for right now...I'll post when ah'm bored enough. Ciao!

I just felt that this song is so special...that I ought to share the lyrics with you...

You know what...talking about PVC with Brophy makes me twitch! I luffs the PVC! It's so great...it's just...loverly -twitches again- I WANT PVC! PPPPPPPPVVVVVVVCCCCC! GAAAAH! -twitches- I found these great shoes...and they're white with that little red nurse's cross...and I have a slight kink for that...and...it was PVC...and...and...-twitches- Found more stuff...PVC! -is having an attack- GAAAAAH!

Now...I've thought long and hard...and I've come up with a costume! YAY!

It isn't going to be a drag queen as planned...because the dress I wanted (which is GORGEOUS!) is far too expensive. I figured up the cost of it plus the headdress and the makeup...and so on and so on...and got a very large amount that I'm just not bleeding willing to pay. So I got a new costume.

I can't say too much because...I just want to keep it a secret...I mean...it's nothing big...just something utterly adorable...I'm not a character, persay...but...-grins- I'm so going to enjoy being this...it's much cheaper...and more fun for me to play with...much more skin, I'll say. Sorry all you guys...you'll get to see some leg.

Well...just letting you know...now back to stocking shopping on eBay!

Now...it's come to that certain time in the year where one question comes up: What the hell am I going to be for Halloween?

Last year, I saw Jack Sparrow, pardon...CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow...and this year I want an equally great costume. I put a lot of love into that costume...and a lot of time and money...and this year...I want something slightly more simple (so Star Wars is out) and definately less costly. So far...I've been thinking about Willy Wonka. But obviously, that's out of the question. A quality top hat alone costs at least $50...and I'm not willing to spend that. Not to mention his almost impossible to make candy cane. No pun intended. And then I was thinking..."How about Conan?" I'm not too sure about that though, for two reasons. The hair and the eyes. His hair would definately be a stretch to make...it's very...different...I suppose I could find some Harry Potter wigs and cut them up...and the eyes...are huge and blue. So definately contacts would be in order. And then I was thinking...how about dressing up as a Japanese person...not just any regular one...but one that's super kawaii with all the trimmings and layers, but...I'm not too sure I can find much in my size.

So it's up to y'all. Leave suggestions of what you think I should be for Halloween. Nothing horror movie centered, though. I need something creative, and I'm so not afraid to be male. -pauses- No...a drag queen would cost too much money...damn...

Well...because I get very easily bored, I noticed in my bookshelf a folder. I pulled it out, thinking it was my 3rd grade essay on Abraham Lincoln that's been long-lost for years, but instead it turned out to be this autobiography from the 7th grade. I've decided to redo it, an exclusive for all who read my blog, and adjust it accordingly since, obviously, I've changed from the 7th grade. The topics were as follows (excluding the boring ones):

Well...since I've updated my blog...I guess it's time to update my blog picture. This one is of Detective Conan. Or should I say Jimmy Kudo. -grins- He's the main character of my favorite new show "Case Closed". The premise is that Jimmy Kudo, a 17 year old detective (brilliant bloody detective) got slipped an experimental poison after eavesdropping on some very illegal business and was turned into a little kid. With help from his neighbor, Dr. Agasa, he is now living with Jimmy's best friend (and crush) Rachel Moore, whose father just happens to be a bumbling detective with no work whatsoever. With Conan's help, Richard Moore is now a huge detective, taking credit for many of Conan's solved cases. Conan struggles to seem like a normal child, hanging out with Amy (the girl in the picture), George, and Mitch who call themselves the "Jr. Detective League". The mysteries are fantastic in this show. It's mostly murder, but every now and then they throw something in there that surprises the hell out of you. The last one I saw was about a supposed "Haunted Mansion", but just turned out to be a long unsolved murder that...guess who...solves it. It's a great show. I like trying to figure out all the clues before Conan does. He's really sharp. It's, obviously, anime, which is Japanese, so...sometimes I can't catch the clues because they're written in Japanese. But, I get a real kick when I figure out something before Conan does. That's only happened twice now, and I've been watching for about 30 shows. That's pretty good for a little anime show that comes on Adult Swim at 4:30 in the morning. But, the clues aren't so outrageous that it doesn't make sense; that's what's so great. Because you actually can figure them out if you keep your wits about you. It's absolutely wonderful. I recommend taping some episodes sometimes. Really worth it. I might buy the DVDs soon.

On request by Dedra...I'm going to tell you about mah night in Texarkana. -pauses- Like I don't spend a lot of nights in Texarkana, I know. -rolls eyes- I'm always there. But that's besides the point.

Imagine this...it was Friday...er...two days ago and...I was...nekid...moving a few hours on...my mother and I were on the way to pick up Dedra. Now...the ACT's were the next day...and there was a slight complication so I had to get a quick stop by the school to see Jeffy the Councilor Man (if he can't eat it, no one can...no JUST KIDDING! -giggle-) and...sign some shit I'd already signed. And have the big-eyed principal brag about me. -blush- Well...after that...went to Dedra's.

I met with her sister, as expected, and got to see the new little puppy Hershey. IT'S SO CUTE! I swore it was a little black bear though at first. Very sweet. Much sweeter than Aayla -glower-. Well...watched TV...talked with the usual to Valetta...where we're going...how long she's had the dog...and mainly listening...and...yeah...this isn't quite that interesting...yeah...rather boring...I'm surprised you're still reading. You must be quite bored to be reading this...oy...

Well...Dedra got home...and was furious. She stormed in, as per usual when about to kill or torture someone to death, and her sister and I just...stayed out of her way. You just don't mess with t3h Dedra when she's angry...or you might get strangled. Not exactly the way I wanted my day to go. Well...after she showered (she didn't want to smell like tacos -snigger-), she explained that her work is Satan and that she had to wait until backup came. So now that the Swat Team was in place at the local KFC/Taco Bell helping out the biggest drag queen I've ever heard of (speaking of that...ASK HIM WHAT SIZE HIS SHOES ARE DAMN IT DEDRA! I WANT THEM! -dies-), we could go pick up Brophy. In the pouring rain.

Luckily, Brophy was smart enough to actually go inside the pharmacy we were supposed to meet at. I wouldn't have been. Well...after I smacked him on the back of her head, we were gone...picking Dedra up at Wal-Mart (don't ask) and on the way.

A little tid bit for Brophy and Dedra if you're reading this. The bag that had the cheese biscuts and soft drinks was my "Toy Bag" -giggle, giggle-

Well...got to Texarkana...and...got to the movies...fucking late, I'll tell you that...it was 5...and...the next Charlie and the Chocolate Factory showing was at 7...we decided to eat and take that showing.

We went to Red Lobster's and my GOD! It was like the fucking Chippindales section of the restaurant. Men, men, everywhere and not one without an apron! -dies- It was rather awkward. Couldn't be as crude as usual. Shame. No farting at the table -snaps her fingers- I was looking forward to letting one on Dedra -grin- Kidding...

After we created a little cache of nibblements...we went to the movies...Dedra and I ran...I'm surprised no one got a frickin' black eye. So...here's Jamie's movie review of Willy...er...CHARLIE and the Chocolate Factory

Have I ever said I love Tim Burton?

I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRVES THE TIM BURTON! DAMN IT I LURVES HIM! GAH!

-composes herself- Over that. Movie was fucking fantastic. Fucking fantastic. The only things that annoyed me where the lack of screen time of Freddy Highmore (he's so adorable...a perfect Charlie...) and Willy's flashbacks. Whilst cute they seemed to interrupt the movie and essentially weren't in the book. Though neccessary, they were quite annoying. But cheeky.

Do I even honestly have to tell you about Johnny? What am I gonna say "JOHNNY DEPP COULDN'T ACT IF YOU...STUCK...A...FLAGPOLE...DOWN...HIS...WHEELCHAIR!" I mean, c'mon. It's JOHNNY FRICKIN' DEPP here, people. Did you doubt him...even for one second? I mean...just...it's Johnny Depp. If you doubted him you should hurt yourself. His interpretation of Willy Wonka was highly influenced from many different places and very inspired if you ask me. Johnny always sinks down into his characters, so I didn't expect anything less that perfection from him. And I got it.

The 2 million hours of the movies just flew by as the Oompa-Loompas did dirty dances and sang Roald Dahl's real lyrics...and...were...rockstars? Yeah...confusing...well...those little shiny outfits weren't all that flattering. -giggle- But amusing. I'm glad they were all played by one guy...it made everything a little funnier.

All the children were fantastic. Totally believeable and completely obnoxious. Go Tim!

And the cinematography...-fans herself- I could have just...-shudders- Beautiful...I'm quite fond of Tim Burton's "light-hearted" style, in which everything is very polished in an almost scary doll-like way. He's just brilliant. He just is. I mean...who could do Ed Wood, Willy Wonka, AND Pee Wee's Big Adventure? I mean...C'MON! Tim and Johnny! I didn't doubt them. Fantastic.

After we left there...we hasted to Books-A-Million for the Potter Party. I was sorted. Slythern. How'd you like that? -giggle- But I liked the pin. It's great. By the end of the night I had completely gone around the store about twice...found a great looking anime called "Eerie Queerie"...about a gay couple. They were cute. I want that damn book. And I got the word "Joselyn" painted on my face...and I found some halfway decent wire-rimmed HP glasses on the floor. Hehe...the night was a success, I'll say. I've never seen Dedra so spastic. I do have to say I'd be that way if they had a...-pauses- Nevermind...

Take'>http://www.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=050714004721-720259">Take

This Fun Dip is all over my damn computer desk -curses-

I need to look up how to get past this one level in my GBA version of the Revenge of the Sith...I just...can't beat this one ship...I kill his guns, but not his main blaster...and I diah...

VIBRATOR VIBRATOR VIBRATOR! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Why has everyone got a problem with vibrators? And sex toys in general. And masturbation in general. GAH! Masturbation is great! It's everyone's first sexual encounter...it's lovely...relaxing...uplifting...it is actually a proven form of meditation. It relieves tension and makes everyone just a little more friendly. I've read so many books about it. Especially Betty Dodson's...I recommend her books so much. It gave me such a better self esteem. I feel so much more beautiful after reading her books and a whole lot more knowledgable. She's a very good writer and very knowledgable about her subject. I don't agree with all of her opinions, like her non-monogamous nature, but I agree with her on masturbation. I mean...I couldn't imagine growing up, or living, without it. I would be such a meaner person. I'm not very nice if I don't get my time, you know? It's like constant PMS. Also...I hate the thought that society accepts male masturbation and rejects female masturbation. And faking orgasm is the stupidest ass thing. Just to stroke the male ego. -shakes her head- Why are females denied pleasure? We are still treated as subservient housewives, and I for one do NOT believe in that. Maybe I'm a bit of a dominating person (-cough- Dominatrix - cough-) but I'm not going to be told that I can't pleasure myself because of my gender or anything else. And the Roman Catholic Church can shove masturbation. Why the hell did God give us organs, such as the clit, which their only purpose in the body is pleasure? I mean...he could have us reproduce in a way which is not stimulating to our bodies but is just used for reproduction and survival. So why can't we masturbate? And, despite the society's view, masturbation isn't a "second rate sex"...intercourse is sex and so is masturbation. Not everybody responds in the same way. I respond with masturbation, but I might respond differently or not at all with intercourse, I wouldn't know. But they're both a form of sex. Sex, in most minds, is considered penis-vagina, thrust thrust thrust. But that is so...so ignorant. Especially in this day and age. -sighs- I just...I guess I'm just a very sexual being...and I can't imagine being so closed minded to a simple pleasure that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. -sighs- I have lots of opinions on other stuff, such as anal sex for men. And straight women with strap-ons. God, I love this country.

Speaking of which...I named my vibrator Echikochan...hehe...isn't it cute? Since it's Japanese and everything. I'm weird...I know...but if I can name my breasts, my bum, my computer, my truck, and my Fluffy...why not name my vibrator? Speaking of which...I'm getting a new one in soon...it just shipped...God I can't wait! It looks like a lightsaber! -squee- I'm so excited! (And obsessive)

Speaking of obsessive...CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY OPENS! YAY! I'm so looking forward to it! YAY!

-giggles- Yep...I ARE 17! -bounces about like a monkey- I just...damn it...that Beatles song..."I Saw Her Standing There"...great fucking song...so about to sing "16 Candles".

Well...I GOT MAH FIRST VIBRATOR! Which is so probably more than any of you wanted to know...namely Brophy and probably Darin if he reads this. Which is probably a not -rolls her eyes-. Well...it's so great...it's called the "Anal Scandal", but can be used for lots of things. It's so cute and Japanese. KAWAII! -squees- I have to go buy condoms for it, though -laughs- Which will be awkward if I see anyone I know. Speaking of cute and Japanese...

I have a new favorite TV show! It's called "Case Closed" and it's about a teenage detective named Jimmy Kudo...and how he gets transformed into a little kid (who he names Conan after Sir Arthur Conan Doyle of Sherlock Holmes fame) by an experimental poison. He's so great...I LUFFS THE CONAN! I want to lick him. Badly. I have a link at the side.

I have read, I think 11 books this summer. Let's review!

1. Sex For One - Betty Dodson
2. Captain's Bride - Kat Martin
3. Villians Victorious - Various
4. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
5. Prince Caspian - C.S. Lewis
6. The Voyage of the "Dawn Treader" - C.S. Lewis
7. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
8. Cancer Schmancer - Fran Drescher
9. Enter Whining - Fran Drescher
10. Snow - Tracy Lynn
11. Hatching Magic

Yeah...that's a damn lot of reading for me! -giggles-

Well...just got back from San Antonio from the BRAC trip...which is something I should save for another time...